So this was all just my little teenage dream? Me chasing someone I couldn’t possibly be with. I know you love her and all. I understand you are hurting but could you at least be a little nicer to me? Im trying to be nice and witty and understanding to make you feel better. But you don’t even care. I broke up with my boyfriend finally because I couldn’t take it anymore but deep down I know that I had some fantasy where maybe if I broke up with him I could be with you. Which is completely impossible. 

I just feel so utterly STUPID. and childish.

I need to get out, I need to go find someone who I could have actual potential with and just get my mind off of everything. But after 2 and a half years with 1 person I dont even know where to meet boys anymore. 

I’m ready for this, I am done caring about making other’s feel better, it’s all about me now. And you’re probably reading this and thinking i’m a bitch, but I can’t take it anymore. I need to stop ruining everything for myself.